When it all goes wrong (And why I still love to share ideas)

Sometimes no matter how hard you work to make things perfect, no matter how pretty you dress them up, no matter what you do to paint the perfect facade, it just all goes wrong. You know, it's like last summer when I got my kids all dressed up for adorable beach photos. After taking about 120 shots, I got about 10 perfectly precious keepers which are hanging on our wall today. But there are always a few like this one. Eventually, it all falls apart. (And sometimes from the beginning it falls apart. After all this shot was at the beginning of the photo shoot!) And maybe the trick is to see the humor in the fall. Even more it's to see the redemptive nature of our falls. But sometimes the humor is the best place to start. After all, this picture has become one of my favorites of that summer . . . along with this one.

Good memories. Two-year-olds sometimes lose it. And everyone gets sick of posing after a while. And we all know, moms sometimes lose it, too!

One evening recently as I prepared dinner, my kids were listening to a CD of Judith Viorst stories. You remember, the author of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? They got to the story My Mama Says There Aren't Any Zombies, Ghosts, Vampires, Creatures, Demons, Monsters, Fiends, Goblins, or Things in which the refrain is, "Sometimes even mamas make mistakes." I stopped and asked my boys, "Do you think that's right? Sometimes even mamas make mistakes?"

My then 7yo promptly said, "Oh yeah, it's definitely right. Especially our mama! She makes a lot of mistakes!"

I was a little surprised and sheepishly said, "You think so?"

"Well yeah," he replied. "You say it yourself all the time. Anyway, I think it runs in your family."

There you have it. Perhaps I've been a little too candid with my kids about my insufficiencies. But probably not. Honestly is probably best, right?

The danger of blogging is that we can make our lives seem to good, too clean, too idyllic. After all, who wants to write about the bad? It's more fun to write about the curriculum that you love, the recipe that is easy and delicious, the project that worked perfectly, the wonderful family that you love.

I like to read blogs for that kind of encouragement. I like to get great ideas from others. I view blogs as a treasure chest of ideas from which I can choose. And that's my goal with my blogs. I love to throw out ideas for others and from others. I love for people to send me their ideas to share here. Most of what I know and do I learned from my mom, from my dad, from other great adults and aunts and uncles who helped to raise me, from my siblings, from my husband, from wonderful friends, and from things I've read from others in books, on email lists (back in the dark ages of the 1990s and early 2000s) and blogs.

So, I write this blog just to share ideas. Some are good, some are fair and some might just not work. I hope those who read will enjoy them for what they are: ideas. And I hope those who don't like them, will just exercise the will to not read. I do that with plenty of blogs myself.

Thanks for reading along and for sharing your ideas with me!

Those lectures

I mentioned in my previous post that I've been listening to quite a bit of Fr. Thomas Hopko lately while running (OK, really just jogging) in the summer evenings. Some of my favorite lectures come from a three part series on Teaching Doctrine In the World We Live in Today. They are from a lecture given last June at the Met. Andrey Sheptysky Institute in Ottawa. I've been really convicted to rethink my daily life by these podcasts. Fr. Thomas talks in detail about how we can't teach (or learn) our theology and doctrine without first committing to really live Orthodox lives. This, I think, must be the way we should be educating our children about their Christianity.

I'm on an email list on which lately the conversation has centered a lot on the question of how to teach in an Orthodox home. There has been a lot of discussion about what might be the proper model. The Classical model? Or is that too Western? Some other model? To some degree, it's worth discussing these things. Of course, the concern is that we give our children an appropriate worldview: one that is centered on Christ and teaches them to love the Church and it's teachings.

But really, according to Fr. Thomas, there is only one way to do this. We have to live it. As I apply his lectures to my family's life, this is what I find. On some level, it doesn't matter what textbook we use, what educational model we use, what foreign language we learn, how much art or music we include. Those things are good to consider, but in the end, using something that helps them learn academics is fine. If we want to teach our children an Orthodox Christian worldview, we have to do it by living an Orthodox Christian life. It doesn't really matter which book we read about the Crusades or how many Roman Emperors' names we memorize (or don't memorize). What matters is how we live our life each day. This means reading our Bible daily, praying daily, living a chaste life, caring for others, loving others, confronting our addictions, fasting, and many other things.

In some ways this is so freeing. I feel both liberated and overwhelmed to embrace this approach. I don't have to panic about whether I've chosen the correct spelling textbook, or ever the right children's bible. I'll just choose one and go with it. But I do have to worry about whether my children ever see me pray. I do have to worry about whether I'm reading the scriptures. I do have to worry about whether I was kind to my husband this morning when I woke up too early.

But anyway, Fr. Thomas says it best. Here are the links to the podcasts. He's talking specifically about Teaching Doctrine in seminaries and for catechism, but it really applies to any kind of teaching, and more than that to LIVING.

Teaching Doctrine, Part 1

Teaching Doctrine, Part 2

Teaching Doctrine, Part 3

Enjoy!

"Theology isn't taught. Theology is suffered."

The quote above is from a series of magnificent lectures by Fr. Thomas Hopko on teaching doctrine. Thanks to very gracious grandparents, my kids have been out of town a lot this summer. And I've been at home alone quite a bit. I miss those crazy boys so much, and I'm about ready for the separation to end, but the new and shocking experience of silence has been quite good for me. I've made lots of progress on some pretty exciting projects including translation work, my dissertation and another really awesome organization that is almost ready to really go public. I've significantly increased my exercise regimen, and that feels great. We've got vegetables rolling in from the garden and flowers blooming everywhere. My husband and I have had quite a few quiet nights together to take walks, work in the garden, or just watch a movie.

But the best thing about this summer has been some down time to read a bit, reflect a bit, relax my tense shoulders and process some things about the direction of my life, and especially the direction of the life of our family as a spiritual unit.

My new running routine has given me some time to listen to podcasts from Fr. Thomas Hopko, thanks to my husband's MP3 player and his instructions and help with the buttons. (Yes, I'm behind the times. Not only do I not own an Ipod, I also don't even know how to use one.) I hope to share a few gems from Fr. Thomas' thoughts on teaching and living theology soon.

And I've also been doing some other reading about Orthodox parenting. Some of those jewels have been slowly seeping into my heart as I experience a quiet home and pray to rejuvenate for the coming year. I'll share some of those priceless thoughts here soon, too. So keep an eye out for some beautiful thoughts from the deep well from which I've been drinking this summer. I'll slowly share them here soon. But in the meantime, I'm praying to live these things, and not just to type them!

"You can't be in it to discuss it. You've gotta be in it to do it." - Fr. Thomas Hopko

Quick and Dirty Early American History

In less than a month we're going to take a week-long trip to the DC area. Our trip is primarily to visit various family and celebrate an important 90-something birthday. But, of course, we will have to incorporate at least one day to visit monuments and museums. My youngest has never been to DC, and my oldest hasn't been there since he was really old enough to appreciate the city. I have my favorite DC destinations (not even going to take the time to list them all right now) and my husband has his favorites too. I'm sure we won't even make it to half of the places we'd like to visit. But, I hope we'll hit some highlights at the Smithsonian and spend some more time on the Mall visiting some of our favorite monuments and memorials.

To date, all of our history study with my rising third grader has been in the Ancient and Medieval periods. So, he hasn't really done much American history at all, with the exception of reading Laura Ingalls Wilder books and reading a few fun books about the Revolutionary War and Westward Expansion. So, this summer we're doing some quick and dirty reading to learn a bit about the founding of our nation and the historical figures associated with Washington, DC. Primarily, I'd just like him to know a bit about the people to whom major monuments in the city are dedicated. We're really just focusing on fun biographies to peak his interest in the history.

Here's our reading list we've been working through in the last few weeks. Anyone want to add any other suggestions? Some of these 8yo has read on his own, and others we are reading together along with little brother.

George Washington: Soldier, Hero, President from the DK Readers series

The Revolutionary War, from the True Book series

Tom Jefferson: Third President of the United States from the Childhood of Famous Americans Series (At some point, I'm going to offer a big enthusiastic post on this series, the discovery of the summer in our house!)

The Declaration of Independence, from the True Book series

Abraham Lincoln, The Sixteenth President, by Mike Venezia

D'Aulaire's Abraham Lincoln (At some point I owe this blog an Ode to the D'Aulaires based on a love born in childhood and fueled by my grandmother.)

Neil Armstrong: Young Flyer, also from the Childhood of Famous Americans series (This one he read primarily because of his own interest, but also in preparation for visiting the Air and Space Museum, AND in honor of the 40th anniversary of the Moon Landing coming up next week. Reading the book was followed by watching one of our favorite films of all time: The Dish.)

The classics

There are so many things I love about being a mother. I used to think my favorites things were getting to give birth to a baby, nurse and care for a baby, watch a child learn to walk, learn to talk, learn to feed himself. Those things seem like such huge highlights. But lately, I've decided that really my favorite part of mothering is introducing my children to great literature. In the last year, I've just loved watching my oldest delve into Greek and Roman myths, Narnia, Tom Sawyer, Treasure Island, Encyclopedia Brown, Little House on the Prairie and this week, one of my favorites, From the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.

But at least as fun is introducing the boys to some of my favorite children's picture books. I just love to see how much they adore Babar, Winnie the Pooh, Max and the Wild Things, Pierre, Paddington Bear, Thomas the Train (yes, from the wonderful series of original books) and many others. One of my goals for this year was to help them learn to also love Beatrix Potter. I have fond memories of my Momma reading me these stories, and so this year I endeavored to help my kids discover the humor and wonderful vocabulary of these little books. I'm delighted to know that I've truly succeeded. Mostly I know this because they frequently ask me to read from our collection of Beatrix Potter, but last week, I knew for a fact that my goal had been met.

A few days ago at breakfast, we were quietly eating and the boys were looking out the kitchen window. Suddenly, my 3yo just got up from the table and walked out the back door. I looked up completely surprised, and he looked back and said, with a confident and reassuring voice,

"It's OK. I'll be right back."

He was outside for a few minutes and then came back in.

"Don't worry, Mommy," he said. "Peter Rabbit was in the backyard and he was going to try to get our garden, but I scared him away. It's OK now."

Break

This is double-posted at my two public blogs: When We Fast and St. Herman School.

Christ is Risen!!

I'm going to be taking a break from this blog for a while. I've been contemplating my own smallness, failures and brokenness lately, fueled partly by the experience of the Paschal season, but more just by facing life's realities. And in the midst I've this experience, I've also been complaining about the terrible narcissism of the university students I teach. This has led me to consider the ways in which my own narcissism is fed by blogging, and the ways that my own loneliness is magnified in the same process.

I often receive much encouragement and good ideas from reading blogs. But I also find myself feeling sad and discouraged. Why doesn't my living room look like that? Why am I not that organized? Why did God give him/her that and me this? Of course, no blogger means to make me feel like that. And, of course, I don't mean to make others feel like that. But I wonder if I might do that very thing sometimes. I know the at least part of the whole truth about the real me (for who can truly plumb the depths of the soul?), but it's more fun to write about the pretty side of the real me. Who wants to write about their failures and their brokenness? At least, who wants to write about it openly on the internet? But where should my focus be: my successes or my shortcomings? I know what the Fathers of the Church would say in answer to that question.

So, for now, I'll take a break to meditate upon my own brokenness which is more painfully evident each new day. I'll keep up my private blogs and may even save away some new posts for this blog. But, I'm going quiet for a while. It will leave a bit more time to read another book to the kids, or to meet the challenges and joys of face-to-face relationships.

At least at this point, I plan to leave my archived posts up here. And I'll keep receiving comments from the blog in my email. So, feel free to contact me via this blog, or other ways that you know how to reach me. I'll likely return to blogging here, but I'm not sure when or how.

May the Joy of the Risen Christ fill you each day!

A Limerick

A little levity for your Holy Week from my 7yo:

There was an old lion named Lou,

Who only had one little shoe,

It was on his head,

When he went to bed,

It fell off his head into dew.

AM, 4/14/09

In preparation for St. Patrick's Day

We usually celebrate March 17th in grand style at our house, but not because of St. Patrick. We celebrate because March 17 is also the Feast of St. Alexis the Man of God, the patron of my oldest son. However, in the last year or so, we've really enjoyed reading and learning more about the life of St. Patrick, so this year we're looking forward to really celebrating both feasts tomorrow! In preparation for the feast, I thought I'd mention some of our favorite books about St. Patrick. Some we own, some we've checked out from the library this month.

The first is The Life of St. Patrick by Zachary Lynch, published by Conciliar Press. I really like this version of the life of St. Patrick, told in nice prose by Zachary Lynch. It's really for older kids (I'd say at least 6 or 7 and up), because the prose is a bit long and has older vocabulary.  The illustrations are interesting and unique. I love the use of traditional Celtic designs, but the faces of the people sometimes seem a bit odd.  They are intended to be primitive and they are indeed interesting, just surprisingly unusual.

A nice alternative for younger kids is St. Patrick's Day by Gail Gibbons.  We recently read this one and my 3-year-0ld and 7-year-old liked it.  It has a simple retelling of the life of St. Patrick and then discusses various traditions associated with the feast.  It also has a list of miracles and other stories associated with the life of St. Patrick in the back.  A plus for younger children is that there are only a couple sentences on each page, so it moves quickly with new bright illustrations with each turn of the page.

This morning we read St. Patrick's Day in the Morning by Eve Bunting with illustrations with Jan Brett.  This is such a delightful little tale about a little boy who is too little to walk in the St. Patrick's Day parade in his Irish village, but manages to climb the hill alone in the wee hours of the morning on the feast.  My boys really enjoyed this one I and liked the illustrations in only black, white and green.  (Have I ever mentioned that I love Jan Brett?)

I haven't read this next one, but I'd like to find it and try it out.  It's St. Patrick, Patron Saint of Ireland by Tomie de Paola.  I love de Paola's books and illustrations and I've heard others say that they really like this book.  Maybe next year, we'll find this one and try it out.

And finally, I'll mention one more book that deserves a whole post of it's own.   That post is coming soon, but for now, let me say that we really loved the Life of St. Patrick included in this wonderful book: Our Island Saints by Amy Steedman, published by Yesterday's Classics.

Grab a shamrock, talk about the Trinity as Three-in-One just like the leaves of the shamrock, read about St. Patrick, eat a potato, and get ready to celebrate the feast!  And, in the meantime, don't forget to celebrate the wonderful life of St. Alexis the Man of God!!!

Triumph of Orthodoxy!

Blessed Feast to all!

"This is the Faith of the Apostles!
This is the Faith of the Fathers!
This is the Faith of the Orthodox!
This is the Faith that has established the universe!"

The singing of Memory Eternal at Vespers for those who have given their lives for the faith always gets me and brings me to tears. Tonight was no exception.

How wonderful to end a long week of fasting and prayer with the joyful, unified celebration of many churches gathering together for Vespers. Tonight my boys walked in the icon procession with dozens of children and 10 priests. So many thoughts tonight, so little time to type!

Good second week of Lent to all!

Because you asked: The Science Fair

Several of you, including Martha, have asked about the Science Fair. I posted about my son's project here.

I'm happy to report that my 7yo created an amazing science project. I couldn't decide what to be more proud of: the incredible observational science work he did (learning to identify certain stars and planets in the sky and also to chart their location and movement over the course of a few hours each night), or the artistic way in which he created his display. But suffice it to say that he did most of the work by himself, with little to no help from his scientifically challenged mother. Fortunately, his dad also got excited about finding the location of the stars and planets and braved the freezing January night temperatures with his son to measure the azimuth and elevation angles of Saturn, Venus, Rigel, Sirius and Polaris.

The results were fun. We took the project to our county science fair and by the end of the week we came home with two awards: a medal for Best Project in Air, Space and Astronomy and a trophy for Judge's Choice in 2nd and 3rd grades. But what made me happiest was that as we left the awards ceremony that Friday night, my little guy was already beginning to talk about his plans for the science fair for NEXT YEAR! Granted, I'm not really up for 12 months of a science project, but I was delighted to see how much he enjoyed the process. Love it when they love to learn!

Thanks for asking everyone!

A Child's Lent Remembered

As we begin Clean Week, I offer any new readers my annual link to my favorite Clean Week reading. Well, it's my favorite reading this week OTHER than the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete which is perhaps unparalleled in it's poetic beauty and countless rich scriptural citations. I love this child's reminiscence about the joy of beginning the Fast. I like to read it to my kids each Clean Week to help them get excited for Great Lent. Enjoy the full text from my previous post on my fasting blog here.

Forgive me and Good Lent!

It's Clean Monday!! I can't remember when my soul has felt so light or so delighted to welcome the fast! This year I feel as though I'm running into Great Lent with joy. I have been terribly needing and craving the focus, simplicity and trials of the fast. We've stuffed ourselves like crazy in the weeks leading up to this week. I spent lots of time cooking delicious meat dishes for two weeks. Then last week we loaded ourselves with homemade bliny, homemade caramel pecan rolls, pizza, calzone, omelets, macaroni and cheese, cheese grits, ice cream, cheesecake. We ate it all. And it was yummy! But how my stomach, body and soul are crying out for the fast. I feel so excited today!

We are home from the first service of the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete. It is one of the most beautiful parts of Lent for me. I just love this first week. We're all a little weary from singing and the many prostrations, but it's a good kind of weariness.

Last night after forgiving all of our fellow parishioners at vespers, having a last cheese pizza and frozen custard and calling grandparents and parents to ask forgiveness, we set about making our home ready. The kids were enlisted for some extra cleaning. After all, Clean Week is beginning! It's time to clean our home as well as our hearts. Then we took down many of the framed family portraits and photographs that cover the walls of our living room, kitchen and dining room. They were replaced with icons. We have so, so many icons so we don't normally hang them all. Many are kept in boxes in our garage. But last night, they all came out. No more looking at so many photos of ourselves this Lent. We've replaced those images with images Christ, His Mother and the Saints. And so suddenly our home seems new and our lives refocused. We also set up our Lenten journey path. I'll blog more about that soon. And we all made some plans for things other than just food that we'll give up this Lent: TV at certain times, computer games, Facebook (yes, we all need a break from too much socializing).

We are beginning the fast with new vigor and joy! How wonderful to set out as a family in this struggle. I was truly encouraged by the words of our Metropolitan JONAH (Paffhausen) of the OCA which were read from the pulpit on Sunday.

"Let our fasting be accompanied by the refusal to indulge in judgment and criticism of others: gossip, slander, suspicion and innuendo, all that is hateful to God. Let us fast from meat, as we fast from the carnality of hatred and resentment of others, which is the source of our passions, pain and addictions. Let us fast from cheese, as we cut out the bitterness that curdles the joy in our lives, the pure milk of love. Let us fast from eggs, so that the seeds of corruption do not hatch in our souls. Let us fast from oil, so that we do not grease our lips to slander and fry our neighbor. Let us fast from wine, that we might remain sober and watchful, to maintain the purity of our souls, minds and hearts.

Let us make this Lent a spiritual fast, so that purified in mind and heart, as well as in body, we might behold the radiant Resurrection of Christ in the reception of the Holy Mysteries at Pascha, but most especially, in the resurrection of our souls."

Indeed, may we meet each other in joy at the end of this journey at the Resurrection of Christ and of our souls!

My dear readers, please forgive me for all of my sins against you. May you have a good, profitable and joyful Lent!

(The full text of Metropolitan JONAH's message may be found here.

Unfinished Business: Nativity Books #35-40

It's almost Lent and I've got to finish my incomplete task from the Nativity Fast or I'll never manage to get things picked up and going on this blog again! I've been avoiding facing this blog because I knew that I never managed to finish posting about our Forty Books of Nativity. You can read about the tradition here. In those last days before Christmas, I just lost all my momentum. My blogging here encouraged some family and friends for Christmas gift ideas for my kids. So we finished out the season with quite a few beautiful new Nativity books to add to our collection. They have been enjoyed and then packed away to emerge again this coming December 15. I'll include them in the blog posts next Nativity. However, here are the last six books we read this past season. They are all Arch Books, as I filled in the last days with various Arch Books from our huge collection.

On the Sunday before Christmas we read Abraham's Big Test in honor of the Sunday of the Forefathers.





On the 20th we read Joseph's Christmas Story, which is probably my least favorite of the Arch Books about Christmas. I'll probably omit it next year. Too often the story of Joseph is told with too much adding to the story and not keeping with Orthodox tradition.





On the 21st we read My Christmas Prayer Book, which is a nice way to teach children little prayers of thanksgiving in that they can say.





On the 22nd we read Just Look in the Stable, which has really nice illustrations.

On the 23rd we read Mary's Christmas Story.





And finally, on the 24th we read On a Silent Night.


And with that, I can now go about the business of Lent, with a slightly more clear conscience! This unfinished task is complete!

Balentime, Be Mine!

We had a great "Balentime's Day" (and week) according to my youngest son. I never cease to marvel at how much the boys delight in choosing those silly little cardstock Valentine's, putting names on them and then giving them out. And even more they delight in receiving tons of those little slips of paper (along with too much candy, of course). It's fun isn't it? And it so often falls just before Lent, making it a fun time to celebrate just as we are thinking about getting in a little feasting before the Fast begins.

We had fun earlier in the week making and decorating boxes for them to receive all their Valentines.

And here is the Valentine that my oldest son made and gave me.

I couldn't get a good picture (starting to have some problems with my trusty old camera), but it says, "Sorry, my love for you is unexplainable." I was a little confused when I read it. He said, "Well, it's just so much love that I can't put it into words." Pretty sweet. During dinner, his dad s decided to introduce him to the word "inexplicable" to help his composition. Gotta love the Orthodox vocabulary!

Of course, Orthodox don't celebrate this St. Valentine on Feb. 14. And, in fact, I don't think we make much of his feast at all. (It's sometime in the summer I think?). However, I wanted to mention that my boys and I have really enjoyed reading the book Saint Valentine by Robert Sabuda. It has lovely mosaic illustrations and tells several stories/legends from the life of St. Valentine. We read it as part of our study of the Roman Empire (and the persecution of Christians before Constantine) earlier this year. But I was glad we had it around when Valentine's Day rolled around this year.

From the wisdom of our hierarchy . . .

Click here for some beautiful, encouraging and thought-provoking words about the education of our children from the mouth of our beloved Bishop THOMAS, Antiochian Bishop of Charleston, Oakland and the Mid-Atlantic. I wish that now I had more frequent opportunities to see him in person, as I did back in the days when he was a deacon (and I was a teenager). Thank God for our hierarchs, and for their encouragement for us to run to the womb of the Church for guidance and wisdom.

Thanks to Ashley for pointing me to this piece!